Sweet music

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Pulled By The Root podcast

The 1st of May I spoke to Heidi Marble who is the founder of the Pulled By The Root website and podcasts and she is an adoptee from the US.
Heidi is interviewing adoptees from around the globe to give adoptees a voice to tell their stories. Her ultimate goal is to make a documentary of all these voices, to show the world their journeys and what a struggle it is for adoptees to understand their lives and themselves. It is such important work Heidi is doing and I fully support her and her inspiring mission!

Herewith the link to the podcast: Pulled By The Root & Eline Farideh

And one of the poems I shared during the PBTR podcast:

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Summer of 2021

It is almost as we are starting a new era, so it feels like.

After 16 months of lockdown, this will turn into the summer of love.
Of enjoying our freedom without any rules anymore due to corona.

What an amazing feeling it gives, the sparkles of life are back.. we are allowed to go out again, to dance, to get inspired, to talk to strangers and make new friends, to eat and drink with everyone and the facemask is deleted in the street venue’s.

We are allowed to hug each other, to kiss, to hold hands, to enjoy the energy of others.
To go to a museum, to watch performances, to go to the cinema..

To enjoy the summer to the fullest!
ENJOY beautiful people.

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Today is a good day

as today I started my day with meditation, received my 2nd vaccination, went to bikram yoga and had a drink in the parc with friends, I am writing again and tonight I meditated and sang in my female shamanism circle.

Being busy with an upcoming event as well and had an inspiring phone call.
More news about the event will follow soon.

All food for the body and soul..
Today is a good day.

Good night beautiful Angels,
with love,


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Dilani Butink and Farideh

In May I was invited by photographer Dilani Butink, and brave soul Sri Lankan adoptee, she sued the Dutch government (for the first time in Dutch history) as her adoption documents were all false. Her lawyer is Lisa-Marie Komp who is doing an important job and Lisa-Marie was part of the Adoptiegesprek in de Balie which I participated with in April.

With this picture project ‘Adoption’ Dilani makes portraits of adoptees who are holding something in their hands, what that is, is up to the adoptee. Some are holding their picture of the time of adoption, some their orphanage file.. it is published at Dilani’s Facebook account and hopefully it will turn into an exposition one fine day!
Thank you for inviting me Dilani, humbled to be part of it and supporting all adoptees in our beautiful journeys!

I wanted to show this, as this is in the present and it helps me everyday to live with my trauma’s. Healing is a day to day to job and to be able to recognize what is yours and what belongs to others, in every conversation, every talk and every interaction is your own freedom within yourself.

When I wrote down the text it felt I could go on and on, as art is healing too, as cooking is healing too, nature is healing too, animals are healing too, music is healing too, reading is healing too… though I choose these first:

Spirituality & writing 
Yoga & meditation 
& singing are healing for me.


Photographer is Dilani Butink ©

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Philautia / Love of the Self

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Sweet music

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MENA Film Festival 2021

This year I have been invited to participate as a jury member, together with Hanane Boukhelala en Mohammed Lyounsi, for the short films at the 4th edition of MENA Film Festival 2021.

Such an honor and looking forward in viewing all short films.

Herewith the list of the selected shorty films by film festival Director Mohammad Al Amin.




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Sweet music

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In the spotlight

Yesterday I talked about my experience about the talk at Adoptiegesprek. We had a few laughs about it too, though sometimes I need a few days, or weeks to figure out what really happened to me. As it is a deep down feeling of unsafety to me, the spotlight. Big bright lamps… I always relate things to my past.

Yesterday night it kind of hit me as I imagined myself laying in a crib in the orphanage. And probably each time the lights were turned on, it meant people / caretakers are there and then you never know what could happen to you. Would they bring you out of the room to never return again, out of your crib… the spotlight, the bright light, meant things could change everything in a second for you.  The safety of the darkness and the physical reaction for me when light is turned on me, it freezes my body.
It is an old reaction which is still valid to me in my body. It became a natural reaction to fear the lights. It places me in the highest state of alarm within my body and mind, a feeling of fear and anxiety.

Imagine that I went trough that feeling of unsafety each day for ten long months in the orphanage, ten months is more than 300 days… only being a few months old.
In a time you were supposed to be loved and nurtured by loved ones.. In a time that you need attention, warmth and energy of others. In a time you normally learn that when you cry, you are being taking care of, either with food, a new diaper or rocking melodies to let you fall asleep safely in the arms of your mother or family member.

Living in reality with lot’s of trauma’s, neurobiological, emotional, physical, spiritual.. it still marks my body and mind today. Understanding myself is the greatest gift to myself and still love myself. I embrace my inner child and I feed her everyday with my heart and soul. And love her for all she has been through. Each single day.

I am who I am and it is all good.

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