Last week I sent my DNA kit back to Ancestry for research.

I actually ordered the kit end of June, though because of all the hectic in July with the operation and hospital visits it kind of was in the back of my mind.
I never received the kit I realized later on, anyway finally I got it now and sent it back.

It will take 6-8 weeks for the results. Hopefully sooner. By sending it you automatically are going to swim in the sea of uncertainties, the sea of the unknown.
The sea of possibilities.

What I do know is myself and that is all I got.
Distraction is the key.

I keep swimming and the water will know which way I will go.
Ancestry might reveal my bloodline,

though in reality I have all my ancestors with me.
I honor them in my songs and in my daily meditation.


With love,


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Sweet music

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10 years

Once a friend asked me if I maybe should lower my priorities about men regarding my single status which I have been now for 10 years.

I didn’t answer him.
I thought love is love right.

You can not compromise with love.

Now I understand that my unconscious mind always knew.
I am not settling for any less.

I deserve to be loved and I deserve to love the right man for me.
Ten years is a long time, though I’d rather be alone versus with someone I don’t love.

I believe in magic and surrender to all what is.

No expectations, only hope he will appear on my doorstep one fine day.. so I can finally start reading the unread exciting pages which I have been longing to do so for a while.

Enjoy your Saturday!
With love,

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Sweet music

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Ten years ago I celebrated NYE at Bali.. by myself.

I was invited to come along with a Dutch friend, who lives there during the European wintertime, to go to a club in Seminyak. As soon as we arrived I lost him in the crowd so there I was by myself which I didn’t really mind. So I kind of had my own party with many others.

There was a swimming pool at the club where people during the day could bungee jump. It was next to Double six beach I believe.

In the back the DJ played techno/minimal and it was a bit deserted there,  I sat there and danced a bit. Then a big group (obviously tourists as well) came in and stayed there till dawn to dance too. One of them told me there were from LA. Cool crowd. And with a bit of envy and curiosity I watched them having fun together. It was a nice change though from the young Aussies who are everywhere there.

I still remember that night. I was feeling super lonely and yet strong as well. Some things you never forget.

Where will I be this year at NYE?
With whom?

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Finding Farideh & Cinecrowd

This was our crowdfunding video which I am very proud of… as I wrote the text myself.

Recorded in July 2015 with Kourosh Ataee and Farshid Seyed Mehdi

Enjoy the video!

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Sweet music

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Philautia / Love of the Self

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Finding Farideh Award compilation

By the end of 2018 Finding Farideh received 8 awards… herewith a compilation of these ceremonies… watch till the end!

I love this one..

(I am uploading all meaningful video’s of FF from the past on my youtube channel so therefor these posts..)

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Q & A Finding Farideh at Asian World Film Festival 2019

Herewith the first 5 minutes of my Q & A at Asian World Film Festival 2019.

This was the second and also the evening screening of Finding Farideh at AWFF at Arclight Cinema, Culver City Los Angeles.

Moderator is Nagham Wehbe at 11th of November 2019.

What a special day that was!

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