The entire week I can’t sleep.. as soon as I lay my head and body to rest my mind goes wandering through life.

I think about the family of Fatemeh and I think of my own family here.
One family I am giving hope and the other family.. I don’t know.

What is it like to be missing your sister your entire life in Iran?
What is it like as a Dutch couple to adopt an Iranian child whom goes searching?

I don’t know.

I can only tell you how it is for an Iranian child & adult to be adopted by Dutch parents.
The ones without my DNA, they are my family. The ones with my DNA will hopefully soon be a part of my life.

What are the differences between Dutchies & Iranians?
What are the simularities between Iran & Holland?
Are there any at all?

My mum and dad were born during the second world war and raised in the post-war time in the Netherlands.

They learnt to live their life this way, this is their state of mind:
– do not talk about emotions or feelings
– never look back
– do not talk about difficult subjects or the past
– mind your own bussiness
– no hugs or physical attention
– no curiosity
– have fear and doubt first

I am, by nature, totally their opposite.

Life confused me while growing up and fear/doubt/insecurity became part of me during my childhood.

Not anymore though. I kicked out the negative a while ago.
I know what’s mine and theirs now.

Do not get me wrong, I am very grateful that they adopted me and I love them.
We just never talk about the future, the past or other important issues.

We have different DNA.

That’s all.