Our official invitation to the premiere of Finding Farideh

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Back in Iran for the 3rd time!

Last night I arrived in Tehran for the film festival Cinema Verite where Finding Farideh will have it’s premiere this Wednesday 13th of December at 21.00 hours. The second screening will be held at Friday 15th at 15.00. There are around 300 seats available and the entrance is free of charge, so show up on time my dear friends as there probably will be a queue. We already decided to sit in the back (my favorite spot) of the cinema so we can watch and hear the audience reaction to the film.

I still have to pinch myself for realizing what it all actually means. I feel only love within me for this film, project, Iran and the people, the crew, who all became my friends over the years. A true blessing. After being busy with it for 4 years it all comes together… the film in all it’s beauty and radiance for the love of adoptees in general and especially the ones adopted from Iran and living abroad.

It makes me think of all Iranian adoptees worldwide, my sisters and brothers from another mother ;). This film is meant to create awareness and to show what it is like to be adopted and to go searching for your own history. It shows you that you have to deal with the questionmarks in life about yourself, the reason why you were abandoned and to find your own path within all the emotions like the pain, hurt, rejection and overcome the difficulties of life. To feel worthy of life and to feel worthy of love.

Visiting Iran is the closest I can come to my birth family wherever they are. If they are still alive. Millions of women here in Iran had to leave their baby in order to survive. An act out of desperation and something they have to live with it their intire lives. If you are a mother you probably can not imagine what it must feel like as you would never had to make this choice and yet they had to. A seperation for rational reasons and not made by the heart. We stay in the mothers heart forever.

She stays in my heart forever. Sending her loving energy and hoping she will catch the news one day about the film Finding Farideh. The hope never leaves the heart though in reality we might never meet. But you never know what God has in store for me, right! Either way I am in peace and complete harmony with whatever happens. I am part of her and I honour her gracefully in my entire body, soul and heart. She is a part of me.
I love her deeply.

Today is a nice quiet day, Kourosh and Azadeh are busy writing invitations for the crowdfunders here and to invite anyone who might be interested to see the film.
Another thing it is still Iran… today the catalogue of the film festival was released and they made a lot of mistakes in our section… they even changed the title into ‘In search of Farideh’ (……) and the English part is poorly translated. Oh well you can’t have it all and the English language is still a difficult subject for many Iranians as proven now.

If you like, I am sharing pictures/video’s mainly on instagram as that is directly connected with my mobile phone, you can find me @findfarideh.

And in the meantime stay tuned for more updates!
With love,
با عشق


PS. This is the film poster of Finding Farideh designed by the famous designer Ali Bagheri.

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News from Iran

I just received a text message; Finding Farideh is selected for screening during the Cinéma Vérité Film Festival in Iran!! The film festival is from 10th -17th of December 2017.

I am thrilled and the feeling of acceptance feels like a victory to me! Finding Farideh will be shown in December in Iran and will have public screenings in cinema’s all over Iran in 2018.  How unbelievable cool is that!!

I am HAPPY!!!!

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MyHeritage DNA kit

The MyHeritage DNA kit arrived this week. Some of my fellow adoptee friends have already done this and it is so interesting. It will show you from which countries/areas your DNA is from. So doing this DNA test today and hopefully get the results within 2 months or so.

Today or tomorrow we will hear if Finding Farideh is accepted for the film festival in Iran…! As soon as the news is out I will let you know.

FindFarideh continues,

With love,

PS. ‘Je suppose que nous portons tous en nous le destin de nos ancêtres.’ -Nadia Hashimi-

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De film is bijna af..

Over 2 weken horen we of Finding Farideh door is op het Iraanse Filmfestival Cinema Vérité en nog een leuk nieuwtje is dat de film ook ingezonden is naar het Internationaal Film Festival Rotterdam 2018. Dat zou natuurlijk te gek zijn! Op dit moment wordt de muziek gecomponeerd door Afshin Azizi.

Ik merk wel dat de spanning weer toeneemt nu de film bijna af is en het zo meteen ‘de wereld’ ingaat. Indien het in Iran in première gaat ben ik benieuwd naar de media aandacht die er aan komt want mijn doel is nog steeds dat elke Iraniër mijn verhaal kent zodat het ooit bij mijn biologische ouders aankomt. Ik las laatst een post van iemand die haar biologische moeder, haar buikmama noemde. Vind ik wel een erg mooie benaming.

In de tussentijd heb ik veel contact met Iraans geadopteerden, vorige week een dame ontmoet die ook hier in Amsterdam woont. Zo leuk is dat, want de herkenning is groot en heb direct het gevoel dat ik er weer een zusje bij heb. De groep Iraans geadopteerden op Facebook groeit met de dag. En goed nieuws want 1 van onze leden heeft afgelopen week contact gehad met zijn half zus, dus het kan zeker wel! En volgende week vliegt 1 van onze leden voor het eerst terug naar Iran en zal daar ook het weeshuis en haar dossier bekijken, ben dankbaar dat ik hen hierin kan steunen en helpen. Zo gaat iedereen achter zijn eigen bestaansrecht aan en terecht.

Onderstaande foto is gemaakt voordat ik naar de plek ging waar ik ooit gevonden ben, ik vind het een bijzonder intense foto. De foto is gemaakt door onze productie manager en vriend Shauheen Daneshfar.

Met liefde,

PS.  We lachen als we herkennen. – Simon Carmiggelt-

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News from IDFA

Unfortunately Finding Farideh is not selected for screening at the IDFA 2017.

I received the news a few weeks ago and I felt sick to my stomach when I heard the news. I couldn’t believe it and the entire day all I could think is ‘Wat errug!’. The next day I woke up with my fight-modus on and thought I am going to call them and asky why. I did and thankfully they did gave me a reason why it was not selected. It is their decision and I can not do anything about it.

So Finding Farideh will not have it’s premiere in my hometown, Amsterdam, but it will (hopefully) be showing at the Cinema Vérité in Tehran in December 2017.

All I can say is that it hurts but I came to terms with it the last few weeks.

I will organize a cinema here in Amsterdam and arrange for you to come and watch the film at some other time, that is a promise from me to you.

As always..
Find Farideh continues.

With love,

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My family

This week I showed the final edit to my parents and brother. At first my parents  told me that they didn’t want to be in the film as they didn’t support me with my search, though during the filming days of Finding Farideh they changed their minds fortunately and they approved of being filmed.
So a few days ago I invited them and my brother to have dinner at my house and we watched the film together. They were very impressed! They loved seeing what I have been through as the film shows so much more details and emotions than I could ever tell in person. I feel reliefed that they approve the film. It means the world to me.
The fact that they came to my house for dinner was a big step too. I think they haven’t had dinner at my place since 8 years ago or so when we decided to see eachother only in public places or their place as having dinner at my place during that time never ended well.
So changing the negative for the positive experiences. The film has helped me in many ways to go forward again. I am more at ease and relaxed with my parents now. I feel that as a blessing as they always have done what they thought was best. I love them, despite of our different views of life or different ways of expressing ourselves. We are family.

FindFarideh continues,

With Love,

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